White Christmas

We have had a brilliant day. Yesterday all the white stuff that has been falling from the skies was still here. But the sun was shining and the Other Boss decided to move the cooking things out doors, The Boss helped, both puppies came (and the Man in Red), and even the Summer Boss. There was lot of stuff to shift, but an hour later they set up on top of Lattrig and cooked breakfast for everyone. We figured out that you had to be wearing a red hat to be sure of getting a plate. Fortunately there was enough sausage and bacon welded to the pans for us to have a lot to eat as well.

It’s a mad mad mad mad mad world

The whole house has been changed around. We knew something was different when the boss decided that everything downstairs should now be kept upstairs. She was so excited that some her friends came to help with the move. The Other Boss also showed up and he helped as well, and he seemed to be home earlier than usual. Then we saw it. What a fantastic idea. A place for us to swim was slowly taking shape downstairs. The organisation was very poor because they were still moving things out while the water came in. The Other Boss really got into the spirit of the plan by wading around in the new indoor lake bringing more things upstairs. We waited all night for our turn but in the morning there must have been a change of mind because most of the water had gone. The Boss and the Other Boss then had lots of meetings downstairs, and this could have been to decide whose fault it was that the really big stuff had never been moved at all. I know we are only dogs but even we know that total immersion is probably not the best thing to do with furniture and big white things. That was the clear conclusion of all the meetings and now a lot of strangers have been and thrown all that soaked stuff into a huge bin in the garden. Life has returned to normal.

Knit Wit

Its been a long time since we could get on to the blog, and a lot has happened. The Summer Boss has gone which means that our chance of getting extra food has halved. The big news is Jack and his strange new bald spot. The Boss often checks us over for little creatures that try to hitch a ride, they hold on very tight and we usually give the Boss a hard time when she pulls them off. Anyway, during one inspection the Boss obviously found something else because she asked the Other Boss and the Summer Boss to take a look. Jack was taken to the Man in White. This is not good – he sticks needles in us, and a thin pole up (you can guess). We try to be good to make sure that he takes the pole out before we go home. This time Jack had a long sleep and woke up with a big bald patch and some knitting on his chest. (You might wonder how we know about knitting – it will have to remain one of the mysteries of dog life.) Dog knitting must be very rare because everyone we meet wants to look at it, and some people are frightened by it because they shudder at the sight of it. But I can report it has led to more biscuits so I am waiting for my turn.

Casualty!

Yet more excitement! Our good behaviour policy seems to have worked and the pictures have disappeared from the shop. But I suppose this could also mean that no one wanted to buy us?

Anyway, we discovered (or rather Jack discovered) some essential facts about mobile kennels. They are soft on the inside, but very hard on the outside. The Boss uses her mobile kennel to take us to different places but we have never paid much attention to anyone else’s mobile kennel. That was until yesterday. We were walking through Great Wood when we passed inside the Specific Distance. This is the distance between us and the Lake where there is no command on the planet that will shake our resolve to immediately jump into the Lake. That was how we found out about mobile kennel hardness. We both ran across the road totally ignoring the Boss (and the Summer Boss who was with us), because we were inside the Specific Distance. Jack was hit by a mobile kennel.

The other mobile kennel stopped and there was a lot of talking. Jack was taken in our mobile kennel to the doctor. He was bruised and had a broken tooth and that was it! Today Jack is the same as usual. We decided last night that the Specific Distance should be shorter, but this morning Jack seems to have forgotten. I expect the Boss will be ready next time.

Jumping Jack - Flash

Things have gotten very weird. There seem to be special places where Giant Flashing Boxes are used. These boxes are much bigger than the one the Boss uses, and so big that the flashing bits are separate. They are obviously too heavy to be all together. We had to stand and be still, and that was very difficult for Jack who wanted to jump up all the time. There was lots of flashing and hanging around and we still don’t know what it’s for. We tried to tell everyone we can’t smile but we do a great ‘confused’. So we went with that. Later on we were able to see pictures of ourselves but not in colour. The Boss was very happy with the pictures and the stranger with the Giant Flashing Boxes was pleased as well. Later on we saw some of the pictures in a shop window in town. Strangers and the Boss buy things from shops so we are very worried that we might be for sale. We will be very well behaved for few days to see if the pictures go away. Jack has even promised that he won’t steal any more bread. Maybe the flashing is supposed to make us (well Jack actually) better behaved? It is a very worrying time.

(pictures from Derwent Photography http://www.derwentphotography.co.uk/)

We're all Crazy Now

Its been quite a while since we were last able to use the computer, but the magic that allows us dogs to write and type has been restored. The world has gone mad and lots of things have changed and some new weird things have appeared. First of all we have a new boss, she is Summer Boss and is helping the Boss, as the house is very busy. She is very popular, as she seems to be Summer Boss for other places as well. Jack went for a walk with her, and Raven was able to have some quiet time while Jack scampered all over the hills. A crowd of Special Friends came to stay a few weeks ago; we had both puppies, and their special friends, and some others as well. We were sent away for a few days, but as we liked everyone we can’t figure out what we did wrong. When we come back home there was some Special Food that we were definitely not allowed to get close to. But this brings me to our next confusion – just what is it with all these little boxes that have flashing lights. We reckon that flashing light is a cue for laughter because whenever the lights flash everyone has to smile. We don’t smile but we do look confused. Things got really crazy when the flashing boxes were pointed at the Special Food – what is going on? The Special Friends stayed for a few days and they all went out together for meals so we reckon maybe they don’t like the food that the Boss cooks, and that could be why they don’t visit very often. Once again we have this worked out!

Buzzers - Ten O'Clock High

The past few weeks have flown by. The house has been full of strangers and it is starting to get warm again so we sit outside for a lot of the time. Our games consist of fighting over bones, chasing the Boss and the Other Boss as soon as they come into the garden, and of course fighting over and chasing sticks. But today we found a new game. We often play with the Other Boss when he throws biscuits into the air and we catch them – and we never give them back! Some biscuits are boring; others have currants in them and are fantastic. We think the Boss has invented a new game. The Boss came into the kitchen from the garden and brought a flying currant with her. It fly by Raven’s nose and then Jack’s nose but as quick as a flash it had flown under the table, up across the room, and settled on the window. It flew around us again but we never caught it. It makes a strange buzzing sound, which is different to all the biscuit currants because they are silent. We reckon the flying currant must be quite valuable because the Boss tried to catch it and put it back (back where? – we don’t know). She did catch it, but it broke and stopped buzzing, and we didn’t even get the chance to share it. This might be some kind of summer toy so we are hoping for another go tomorrow with a new one.

In the Company of Strangers

We have seen first hand the difference between our feeding and how the Boss and the Other Boss get food. Our stuff is always in a bowl. We know Bowl equals Food. There is often trouble because our bowls look alike and we both tuck into the other bowl whoever finishes first. The Boss and the Other Boss always eat with their food high up on a table in the place where they make the food hot. So that’s quite straightforward - until this week. While the Other Boss was away the Boss went to the top of Lattrig and had special food. A Stranger brought it, another Stranger helped out, but another Stranger sat at the table and shared the food with the Boss. A lot of people came to watch so we reckon that it must be some kind of ceremony. If they were wishing it would stop raining it didn’t work. The Other Boss arrived home as usual and we don’t think he knows anything about it. We tried to tell him about it but he just yelled for us to be quiet. We are watching out for the Lattrig Stranger in case he comes back.

Gunfire in Langdale

Yesterday was another fantastic day. We went to the Langdale Valley and had a great time splashing around in Stickle Beck. We didn’t spend too long there because the Boss was obviously distracted by the activities of the Other Boss. We all went together in the mobile kennel and parked in a large field with a load of other mobiles. The Other Boss had a sign stuck to his chest and went and stood in the road with lots of Strangers that also had signs on their chests. It all seemed quite friendly then someone fired a gun and they all ran away down the valley towards Elterwater. We were not surprised but the Boss didn’t seem bothered at all. They must have been very scared because they ran right out of sight. Once we had dried off from the swim in the beck the Strangers started to come back, but only a few at a time. They were cheered by the Strangers that had stayed behind. It looks like the gun was only able to frighten Strangers wearing the signs – we can’t figure this out at all. The Other Boss was back quite soon and we reckon that he just didn’t run as far away as most of the running Strangers.

PuppyWalking

The house has been full of Strangers and to add to the chaos the younger puppy has come home again. She has a special friend –The Man in Red. We have not seen him for a while. They took me and Jack for a very long walk in the hills. We journeyed over Walla Crag and Bleaberry Fell and then down to Ashness Bridge and then home alongside the Lake. This was fantastic and the sun shone all day. We managed to get into water a lot of the time. Bleaberry Fell had a lot of water disguised as ground so we got wet even when we didn’t expect it. The picture shows us in one of the many streams. However, madness seems to have descended on the house. When we got back the Boss had some enormous eggs. The bird that laid them must be huge, but we never did see it. These eggs were really strange because they had bars of food inside them and they had TWO shells. The outer shell was all shiny and was easy to peel, but then the Boss and the Other Boss ate the inner shells! We tried eating the shells of our smaller eggs once, but it was a disaster because the insides went all over the carpet. We reckon that shiny shells must mean dry insides so we are on the look out for them. Some of the Strangers staying at our house had big shiny eggs as well so there must be loads of these huge birds about. They must have big nests as well so that explains why there are fewer sticks in the wood. We have this totally worked out!

Innominate Tarn - Haystacks

The warm weather has arrived and now we are able to show off about the places we can go to. Together with our ability to type we are also pretty good at geography. Yesterday we went with the Boss and some of her Friends to the summit of Haystacks. The Boss, Friends and Strangers can be very odd, for instance there is no hay and definitely no stack of it on Haystacks. The day started with Poo Collection and then we travelled with Boss in her mobile kennel to a place where lots of other mobile kennels were left empty. On the hills there were lots of white fluffy animals about; Raven is quite sensible but Jack wants to meet them all – but they never want to meet him. In the end the Boss put him on the lead for a while. Everywhere is water, small bits and big bits. We eventually reached a big stretch of water and swam up and down for ages. Friends of the Boss gave us some of their food and the Boss gave us some biscuits when we came each time she called us. We have figured out that they must be ‘Running Biscuits’ because we have to run to get them. On the way back they didn’t seem to be working because we slowed right down until we got back to the mobile kennel. In the picture you will see that the Boss has hurt her arm and has wrapped it in a white cloth. This will never work, because how can you possibly lick it better when it’s covered up! We have both tried to remove it but that made the Boss angry and dinner was delayed. We might try again later because we want to help.

The Rules of Poo Collection

Today, like many days we went to the Lake. Our town is very popular so the path is full of Strangers, and lots of them have dogs. These dogs could become friends but that would need several things to happen at the same time. The Boss would have to give us time to say hello. Part of our traditional greeting is to say hello to the front of the dog and then say hello to the rear of the dog (the smelly end). The Stranger with the other dog would also have to stop looking as if we were going to eat them. Some of the of Strangers want to talk to us, but almost nobody wants to talk to us when we are wet. On the way to the Lake the Boss does something that is totally weird. She collects our poo. We have seen other poo collectors as well. Its not like collecting sticks because me and Jack always fight over sticks. The rules of poo collection mean that you can only collect your own poo (or our poo anyway!). Sometimes the Boss reminds Strangers that they have missed a bit of their poo. We collected some sheep poo once and got into terrible trouble so we know we haven’t got all the rules sorted out yet.

Bosses Reunited

It has been very exciting here. Last night the Boss came home very late. Obviously the search had not gone according to plan, because she came home without the elder puppy, without her puppy pal, and most importantly without the Other Boss. But very early this morning the Other Boss arrived with two bags of dirty clothes. We have no idea where he has been. The Boss was pleased to see him and lots of hot drink was prepared and drunk by both of them. Life has now settled back into the old routine. We are so relieved. Phew!

Don't Panic

No need to panic just yet but we are now ‘away’. We are back at Greta Bank for tonight at least. I forgot to mention that the elder puppy has brought a (man) puppy with her. We think that bringing in reinforcements like this can only help. They are using the elder puppy’s mobile kennel so the search must be going long distance.

One of our Bosses is Missing

This is the Boss briefing The Search Party. The elder puppy took the picture

The Other Boss has not been home for a long time. We go away sometimes to stay with other dogs for what seems a long time but the Boss and the Other Boss eventually come and collect us. We have no idea what this is all about, but when they come back they seem darker than when they went away. We know this is ‘away’ because we sleep with the other dogs all through the night. In our world not being home at night is ‘away’. The Other Boss has been gone a long time and despite my inability to count just how many nights he has been ‘away’ we are worried. The Boss still takes us for walks, and we still get dinner and biscuits, but we miss our fights with the Other Boss. The elder puppy has come home for a while, so maybe there is some kind of exchange going on. We love the elder puppy and she was a good friend to the Wise One. We have all been in the woods again today, and maybe this was some kind of search party. We didn’t find the Other Boss, but the Boss and elder puppy seem happy so maybe all will be fixed soon.

Sticks that dont talk

We need your help. The Boss has some complicated toys and things that make strange noises and do interesting things, like the talking stick. In the room at the back the Boss and the Other Boss often sit and watch the teevee. We know its called teevee because of the many instructions that they give to each other about it. The thing that is on the teevee seems to be quite important. We don’t understand this because the same model of a car has been on the teevee since Jack came, and that was a long time ago. The Other Boss has some sticks that don’t talk but have to be waved at the teevee to get it to change the noise. When we lay down the sticks don’t work! We then get told to move, sometimes biscuits are involved and we move into the other room. The  Boss often has these sticks, but they are always passed to the Other Boss when he arrives. Me and Jack are the same, whenever he has a stick I try to take it away, but thats just any stick. The Boss’s sticks that don’t talk are special. We don’t know why.

The Wise One

Throughout the stories that we will write you will soon come to the conclusion that Raven is sensible and Jack is something else. A long time ago before Jack arrived there was a great and wise dog called Murphy. He was able to teach Raven a lot about the Boss and the Other Boss. But he didn’t teach Raven how to teach. Sometimes we both dream about the wise one. He was golden and liked to get wet but refused to swim. Jack often pretends that he doesn’t understand the Boss although Raven has explained the rules. This can mean that we have shorter walks and fewer biscuits when that happens. Jack always wants to go out doors. Most of the time this is to help with the flower watering, but for a lot of the time it’s just for the fun of being let back in, and getting the Boss to open the door when Jack calls. The Boss hates this, especially when the talking stick is working or she is in another part of the house. Jack thinks it’s great and calls to go out again just when the Boss has settled down. Murphy would have stopped this.

The Boss is not happy.

The Boss is not happy. The immediate effect is loss of biscuits. Yesterday we were in the woods during the afternoon having a great time searching for sticks and balls. Jack found a woolly hand and accidentally swallowed it. This was our secret on the way home. We now know that woolly hands are not proper dog food and Jack yucked it back up when we got into the warm. The Boss was not happy. Just when the yuck was cooling down the doorbell rang and the talking stick started ringing at the same time. There was a bit of chaos for a while. The Boss found out about Jack’s secret when she cleared up the yuck. As well as loss of biscuits, our bed has gone into the large white rumbling machine to make it clean again. We know Jack is well because he has tried our proper food again and the strange smelly stuff has started coming out the other end as usual. The Boss is always collecting this in colourful bags. She can be weird sometimes, but she is still the Boss. Biscuit service resumed this morning.

Our Day - Part One

The Boss arrives at 0730 and lets us go into the garden. We have watched her put watery stuff onto the flowers to help them grow. We are trying to help but our watery stuff doesn’t seem to work. We wait outside the cooking place while a lot of breakfasts are made. We sleep while this is going on. Once we hear the sound of the plates coming back we get a bit excited in case there is some food left for us. A few of the people who stay with the Boss are vegetarians. These are wonderful people because it means there will be more sausages for us. We then have another sleep while everything is put into a white box. The box hums for about an hour and then all the plates come out clean. We think the Boss has another Boss; he is OK because we always get extra biscuits from him. Sometimes the Boss and the other Boss get confused and we get really lucky and we have two dinners. The Boss and the other Boss seem to have some puppies of their own, and sometimes we get to go out together. This is Raven with the younger puppy at Sty Head Tarn in Borrowdale.

Our favourite place, OK then "places".

This is our favourite place. The Boss calls this 'Derwentwater', its a lake. We just like water, and any water will do. This lake has a huge amount of the stuff. There are lots of places full of the stuff, all around where we live. Raven likes to run in and out, while Jack runs in and stays in. We both like swimming and can swim for ages. Some of the water is very dirty and the Boss has to wash mud off when we get home. Its weird but we don't like this wash water at all. We get our revenge by shaking when the Boss isn't ready for it. The Boss then uses more of the same stuff, but much hotter to wash that off. The Boss could come in the lake with us I suppose but that doesn't seen to be part of the plan.

This week has been fantastic. We had a terrific romp in Mungrisdale on Tuesday. This is behind Blencathra and is not so popular as the bits that are always on the TV.  We both think its amazing that we can type and understand English.  We understand a lot of words but that doesnt always mean we listen.  We particularly dont like the 'LEAVETHATALONE' word. This seems to be associated with enjoyment - when we start to  have some this word gets used? Before we tell you about our adventures we thought you might like to see what we look like. This was taken last summer. Raven is on the left, Jack is on the right.  The Boss took the picture.

Woof, welcome to our world of fun

Hi everyone, we are Jack (the smaller one) and Raven (the bigger one). We are two flat coat retreivers that live close to Derwentwater in Keswick in the English Lake District. For some reason our breed name didnt mention that we are black, very black actually. We are also very friendly but are addicted to collecting balls. Sticks are our second favourite collectable, if you have one we will play tug of war with you until you lose.

This blog is going to describe our adventures. We swim. We climb the hills. We eat. We sleep. We run about a lot. We also make a helluva mess when we have a shake. We are famous and have been used in advertising (only once, but its a start.)